THE REVIEWS Episode 45: Frozen 2
Is this the sequel we all deserve?
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Why is there no movies to watch in the cinemas?! No movies have captured my attention at all! Well, that’s at least for like the past three damn months. Let’s check on our trustworthy Internet on what we can watch today.
*clicks on Google, and types Movies of December 2019"
Jumanji: The Next Level? Nah, every movie with The Rock is almost constantly shit. A Shaun The Sheep movie? Shaun the motherfucking Sheep has a movie?! What kind of horseshit is that? I ain’t watching that! Charlie’s Angels? Doesn’t look promising. Nothing here looks…
*sees Frozen 2*
Frozen 2? Frozen 2? FROZEN 2?! THE SEQUEL TO THE MOVIE INSPIRED BY THE SNOW QUEEN BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON?! Oh, hell yeah. That’s what I’m going to watch.
I’ll be back.
Frozen 2. The long awaited sequel to the 2013 Disney successful and heartwarming musical Frozen. I’ve been waiting for this moment. To watch this movie.
If you haven’t know yet, I have said about it in the very first episode of MY THOUGHTS ABOUT. I have also talked about the prequel during my 2018 Christmas special. Read it here.
Now, to the tagline I wrote at the beginning, my answer to that is…
No.
But, Noah, why?!?!?! Why are you a hater of Frozen 2? What’s not nice about it? Are you bias?
Let me tell you here. This is one of the most disappointing Disney sequels of all time. What I expected and what I have received is completely different. So, let’s run down on the film. But first, the synopsis.
“Elsa the Snow Queen and her sister Anna embark on an adventure far away from the kingdom of Arendelle. They are joined by friends, Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven.”
That’s it. Let’s start.
CHARACTERS
Ahh. The main five characters are back. Elsa, Anna, Olaf, Kristoff, and, of course, the loyal reindeer Sven. They are their usual selves. Elsa loves singing her heart out, and of course it does sound quite melodious. Like when Aurora calls her out, or when she wants Aurora to show herself. She’s a bit depressed this time. Hearing a voice in her head continuously, she expresses her worries and happiness after that over a whole song. She’s wants to protect her sister, and not let her get into danger by doing everything herself, but she realizes that it is never possible, because it takes two hands to clap.
Olaf is the cheerful snowman who looks cute and is very, very, very positive. And this time, he has made me laugh. He became a comedian, guys. Still, the movie didn’t really give him much attention as still, but hey, he got a song, and had more scenes in here than in the first Frozen film.
Kristoff and Sven. Finally, Kristoff has more characterization and scenes here. Thank god. He even has a song. A Backstreet Boys type of song. He could potentially be the fifth member XD. On a serious note, he has become more active. He wants to propose to Anna, and he is very diligent and has the desire to do it for the first few times. However, he is always interrupted, either by Anna, by the other characters, or even his own words. On the third failure, he sings ‘Lost In The Woods’, my favorite song in Frozen 2. He even makes it like a music video. It’s so good to watch. His singing voice is so great. In my opinion, he is the best character in this movie.
Anna. The worst character in this whole movie. Man, some things never change. Like the song title, she never stops singing cringeworthy lyrics. My least favorite song is “The Next Right Thing”. I don’t know how Anna can make my ears bleed with bad lyrics, and bad music. In this movie, she is seen as a super clingy woman. She sticks to her sister like she is glued to her. That’s annoying. Imagine someone clinging on to you forever. I mean, you can do that to your girlfriend/boyfriend/parents, but don’t do it too often. It’s bad. Like this. And she keeps saying ‘If we stick together, we’ll be stronger together’ or ‘We are sisters. Sisters don’t let each other die’ or something like that. We get it, Anna. I GET IT. But in the end, now matter how much of a bitch she is, Anna saves the damn world. Overall, I find her a really irritating person.
The rest of the characters? They are like minor characters. Not adding them doesn’t really make a difference. Especially the new characters added. They don’t hold so much value to Frozen 2.
Songs
The songs are mostly nice. Except for the ones Anna sang, the rest are quite good. I liked Weezer’s version of ‘Lost In The Woods’ and Panic! At The Disco’s version of “Into The Unknown”. They really got good artists to cover these songs. Finally. Demi Lovato’s “Let It Go”, you say? No. Just no. Please place that as far away from me as possible.
Story Plot
Now, this is the part where it fails to be a good sequel. Unlike Ralph Breaks The Internet, it doesn’t have a groundbreaking story to keep it entertaining. The five main people travel to the Enchanted Forest covered by some mist. Also, four elements. What is this now? Avatar: The Last Airbender?
There, they meet Mattias, Yelena, and a bunch of guards and villagers. They are all trapped in the forest. Wow. Then, Elsa and Anna searches out to find out the truth. Turns out, their grandfather is the bad guy here. He started a war because he didn’t like the villagers from a tribe named Northuldra as they had connection with magic. Thus, he built a dam to reduce the resources of the Northuldra, and killed the leader of the tribe. That’s it. That’s the Achilles’ heel of this movie. No major climax. Just a little one.
Now, all these sounds deep. But you haven’t heard what I’m about to say. Are you ready? Get your eyes washed, and your mind fresh, because you ain’t ready for this. Elsa gets frozen, and Olaf fades away. Olaf fades away and Elsa froze, meaning they died. That is fucked up. Why is this so fucking deep and dark? I came here to watch a Disney movie, not Stranger Things or some dark movie. Of course, they come alive again when the damn is destroyed. Well, at least they didn’t die forever. That would scar me and everyone who loves Elsa, wouldn’t it? And also, ELSA IS FROZEN?! SHE’S THE FUCKING ICE QUEEN, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! HOW ON EARTH CAN SHE GET FROZEN? WHAT EVEN?
In a nutshell, this is some dark, deep, and mediocre movie, and it doesn’t really look good to me. I rather the cheery tone of Frozen. At least no one was killed, and it’s more easier to understand. Frozen’s story is hard to predict too. I could predict some scenes in Frozen 2, and I hate it when I could do that during a fresh movie screening.
This movie didn’t live up to my expectations at all. I expected some crazy fights, and all I get is Elsa being some stupid fifth element of the shit. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Besides the animation and the music, nothing really stands out. For a long-awaited sequel, this isn’t what I wanted. Confusing shit, weird shit, cringeworthy shit. As a movie, this is an okay movie. There are some good parts, so I’d give it a 6.5/10 for it. But as a sequel, this is utterly disappointing and such a letdown. It could’ve been better. It could have.
Well, at least Elsa’s not lesbian. Phew.
